It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
