i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
