So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
