she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
