Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
