Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
