FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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