Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
