it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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