Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
