he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
