and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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