real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
just found out that she named her cat after me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
