why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
