i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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