I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
