My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
