Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My nipple is on Facebook.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
