Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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