Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
cat food counts as protein by the way
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
40s are totally the cure
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
