I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
