I'm so fucking centered right now
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
