problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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