She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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