I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
