At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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