Im at strip club and am horny
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
