so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
