i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
