i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
