i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
