You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
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