you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
