everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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