Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
