#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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