I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
