I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
