are you still at the devil's house?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
