what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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