And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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