we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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