I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
