thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
