Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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