i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
