I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
