that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
