i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
