She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
